Hello...didn't mean to....

Hi there, it’s been a long while since I've wrote, it was unintentional yet quite intentional! See, I had planned to write to you everyday, but someone had said, “maybe everyday is too much. Maybe folks will be more excited or interested in reading your blog if you leave time between your writings.“ I’m not sure if I believed them or wanted to experiment or even just wanted to have a day off, but I said, "sure, I’ll give it a try”. And before I knew it I had already waited more than a week long to write....I didn't mean to wait so long, but the days have just flown by. WOW, I found that maybe, possibly, probably…I have writers block! How can that be, I love to write you and share my thoughts....I always have things to say and in fact I had so many funny things to tell you but life has been flying by this last week. I’ve experienced a lot, from God’s blessings, reminders of how short life is, how smart and funny 8 year olds can be, 4 year olds are clever, messy and are learning things at the speed of light…no really they are….and lastly how 12 year olds can grow a small peach fuzz stash within a month and turn into a “big guy” reverting back to a little guy all in the same day. Wow!!!

Probably the thing that struck me most, was when I asked my mom, “if you think that you are going to die on Friday during your surgery, then what last words do you have to say to me?” Her answer was, “WHAT, huh? I don’t know…that I love you”. This question must have caught her off guard because the next day she called me to say, “that question you asked me…..I thought about it. I would tell you that I love you. And that I’m grateful for the last 2 years that I’ve had with you and the boys. That I thank God for giving me that time, so if I die on Friday just know that I am grateful, that I love you and that I think that you have been a wonderful daughter!”

I wish to never take a day for granted, and find that most days I am involving God in all things, even the mundane. Many times we think to only include God in the big things, the life changing moments, the times of despair or moments of grief and worry. If you only involve God in those moments, you’re missing out on the bigger picture and more so all the wonderful blessings he has in store for you. If you only pray to God when you need something, then your concept of him is too small. Yes, I find myself praying for answers, for healing, for others’ needs, but more so this year I have found that I have been praying to God with a heart of praise, a heart filled with peace and comfort, ready to accept God‘s will rather than pleading for him to accept mine. When I began placing the “outcomes“ in my life into his hands I stopped worrying and began relying….I stopped trying to control and instead began waiting and watching…..I stopped pleading and could truly begin praising. Hope your week has been wonderful….sending you love & hugs…and hopefully a bit of sunshine and warmth too!

p.s. I couldn’t bare to proof read this….first, I'd probably cry, but mostly because I’m a “perfectionist” if I scrutinized over this note tonight it may not have ever gotten posted…and I SOOOO wanted to say hello!!! So: HELLO!!!!