Building Memories - The Spree

Every late June, the carnival comes to town here. Our city is pretty big, but the SPREE is always the main summer event, arguably the event of the year. It’s a week long blast made up of fun rides, concession stands, quirky contests, live bands and awesome food. It’s tradition that my mom will insist that she and my dad bring our three sons to this huge shindig (on my dime LOL) but as a fun “Grandma” experience/memory for the boys. She calls these moments “memory builders” and I have to say I think that’s pretty special. It thrills me that she’d yearn to build moments with her grandsons that will last them a lifetime - that will help mold them into the men they will become later in life.

Every year she asks me to come on the various excursions - strawberry picking, pumpkin/cider mill jaunts, fun library days as well as the occasional McDonald toy hunt!  Most times I tell my mom that these moments are for her and them; I almost feel like a 5^th wheel - dad only gets to go so he can chauffer them around town.  I ususally decline the invitation because I don’t want to intrude - sometimes I think it’s more of an adventure anyways if “mom” isn’t there! However, last summer I realized that my mom’s back health was in question and I didn’t want the outing to take a toll on her. Plus, in my head I knew that this particular Spree outing could be her last one depending on back surgery and other factors. I wanted to go to take some work/burden off of her as well as get a chance to experience the Spree with my mom for maybe one last time as her daughter. So, I took them up on their invitation and I joined in on the fun.  I was surprised that not only did we have a blast, but I had some “memory builders” and learning experiences of my own that day - it launched a whole new way of thinking for me and putting me on a journey of discovering “perspectives”.

That day I drove separately to the Spree, the plan was that I would meet up with them in the park after they had a few hours alone to play some games and ride some rides. You can’t drive to the carnival directly, you have to first drive to the City Hall, park and take a shuttle bus to the event site. So when the shuttle dropped me off, I had no idea of where my family could be in the park. I called my dad on the cellphone to ask him where they were in the park, but because I had not been to the Spree in over 10 years, I really didn’t know the lay out of the event or even what direction to head as he describe where he was. So he told me to stay where I was and he would come and get me and bring me to the group. So I sat and waited and stood and awkwardly waited to spot my dad, almost like a little child who has gotten lost in a store waits for their daddy to come and rescue them. Silly I know, but it was an odd surreal moment.

When I first saw him I smiled and under my sunglasses I confess that I got a bit teary eyed. He approached me and made a funny joke about me being lost and proceeded to take me by my hand and said “come on this way, I‘ll take you there“. I honestly can say that the last time I held my father‘s hand would have been at my wedding almost 17 years ago, briefly maybe a minute or two. In that instance, I knew it was a memory making moment. Later that night, as I reflected on the events of the day, my mind instantly went to the moments I spent with my dad. I thought to myself: “I walked hand and hand with my dad today.” It felt odd yet good. It felt like a stranger’s hand, yet like home. It felt uneasy or awkward at first, yet safe and secure after a few minutes. And after a few minutes more, I didn’t want him to let go. It was the hand of my daddy, I haven’t held that hand in many years. I forgot what it was like to walk hand and hand with my father. And I suppose as I think about it, he forgot what it was like to do the same with his little girl.

We walked for about 5 minutes and talked, smiled and laughed…neither one of us wanted to let go and so we didn‘t. That is until my own children spotted us from across the park and came running up to welcome and hug me. Then the little girl became a mommy again. For a brief moment, the mommy remembered what it was like to be held by her father and it was very sweet. Then he and I rode the highest ride in the park, dropped nearly to our death and celebrated our oldness in laughter and fun.

It’s great to be in a place where I can be vulnerable yet safe, I’ve always known that feeling holding my husband’s hands, but I forgot who held that job first. That was my dad’s job from the moment when I first came into the world until the day he gave my hand away in marriage. I wonder if my dad finds that a hard job to let go or if he still feels like its his job and he’s just sharing those duties with his son-in-law. Last week I pretended to ask my dad for some money, asking for money is something I’ve never done even as a kid. He looked at me and said sure, how much do you need. Almost as if he was excited at the thought to help his daughter out. I almost felt bad in saying, oh I was just joking. I wonder how I will fair in giving my sons over to their wives?

As I was thinking on this days later, I wondered to myself how does God see us. We’re given to our parents for only a short time as their children, or are we? God calls us his children and teaches us that it’s important to rely on our heavenly father for all things as his children. This is something that I’ve been learning and committing to achieving, but my perspective on earthly parent as begun to shift. It is difficult to wear both “hats”, that of being a child while holding the title mommy! I need to remember (or re-learn) how to give to my parents myself, as their child, as well being the adult they’ve raised me to be. Here's to the ever so delicate balancing act of life!

Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.
~Charles R. Swindoll, The Strong Family

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
~Lane Olinghouse

When you have brought up kids, there are memories you store directly in your tear ducts.
~Robert Brault

You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back.
~William D. Tammeus

There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings.
~Hodding Carter, Jr.

Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your kids.
~Sam Levenson

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
~P.J. O'Rourke